Andrew lloyd Webber. Sunset Boulevard --------------------------------------------------------------- Origin: http://musicals.net ³ http://musicals.net/cgi-bin/musicals?sn=670&show=Sunset+Boulevard --------------------------------------------------------------- Overture/ I Guess It Was Five A.M. Joe I guess it was five A.M. A homicide had been reported From one of those crazy mansions up on sunset Tomorrow every front page is going to lead with this story You see an old time movie star is involved, Maybe the biggest star of all But before you read about it, before it gets distorted By those Hollywood piranhas, if you wanna know the real facts You've come to the right party Joe Let me take you back six months, I was at the bottom of the barrel I'd had a contract down at Fox, but I'd fallen foul of Darryl Now I had a date at Paramount, Along with about a thousand other writers If it didn't come up roses, I'd be covering funerals Back in Dayton, Ohio, I'd hidden my car three blocks away Turned out to be a smart move. Let's Have Lunch Joe Hi there, Myrion Myron How's it hanging? Joe I've got a date with Sheldrake Myron I'm shooting a western down at Fox Joe How can you work with Darryl? Myron We should talk Joe Gotta run Both Let's have lunch Mary Hi, Mr. Gillis Joe You look great Mary I'm up for an audition Joe Sheldrake is driving me insane Mary Don't forget me when you're casting Joe We should talk Mary Gotta run Both Let's have lunch Joe Morning, Joanna Mary Hi there, Myrion Joanna Who are you meeting Myron You look great Joe Sheldrake, but do I need it? Mary I've spent the last month fasting Joanna I'm handing in my second draft Myron I'm shooting a western down at Fox Joe I'd really love to read it Mary Don't forget me when you're casting Joanna We should talk Myron We should talk Joe Gotta run Mary Gotta run Both Let's have lunch Both Let's have lunch Joe Yeh, I have an appoinment with Mr. Sheldrake Jones Name? Joe Gillis, Joseph Gillis Jones All right, sir, you know your way? Joe Yeah Ist Fin. We want the key to your car 2nd Fin. You're way behind the payments 1st Fin. Don't give us any fancy footwork.... 2nd Fin. Give us the keys Joe I only wish I could help. I loaned it to my accountant He has an important client down in Palm Springs Felt like shooting the breeze 1st Fin. Are you telling us you walked here? Joe I believe in self-denial, I'm in training for the priesthood 2nd Fin. Okay wise guy, three hundred bucks 1st Fin. Or we're taking the car 2nd Fin. We have a court order Joe I love it when you talk dirty Sammy Bless you, Joseph Sammy That you, Sammy Sammy How do you like my harem? Joe How come you get such lousy breaks? Sammy One learns to grin and bear 'em Girls This is the biggest film ever made Joe What're you planning? Anita Temple Virgin Dawn Handmaiden to Delilah Joe Let's have lunch, gotta run You've got to find me a job, I'm way behind with my payments I thought you were meant to be my agent, I need some work Morino I only wish I could help, this town is dead at the moment There's been this slowdown in production.... Joe Who is this jerk? Morino He's my wunderkind from Broadway, Every major studio wants him Young Man Playing one against the other.... Joe What I need is three hundred bucks Morino Maybe what you need is a new agent Joe Hello, Artie Artie Joe, you bastard! Joe You never call me anymore Artie Found a cuter dancing partner how are things? Joe Not so great Artie Will this help? Twenty bucks? Joe Thanks! you're a pal! All Good morning, Mr. De Mille Myron Good morning, C.B. Sheldrake This is Sheldrake, bring some water, Get me that shithead Nolan Nolan, sweetheart, great to talk, this draft is so much brighter You're the best, even so, I've hired another writer Secretary Mr.Gilis Sheldrake Joe! What the fuck bring you here! Joe You wanted to see me Sheldrake I did? What about? Joe "Based Loaded" It's an outline for a baseball picture Sheldrake So, pitch Joe It's about a rookie shortstop. He's batting .347 The kid was once mixed up in a holdup. Now he's trying to go straight Sheldrake Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think I have read this Somebody, bring in whatever we've got on.... Joe "Based Loaded" Sheldrake ......"Based Loaded" Joe They're pretty hot for it over at Twentieth Sheldrake Good Joe But can you seeTy Power as a shortstop? Ensemble Let's have lunch Betty Here's that "Based Loaded" material, Mr. Sheldrake I made a two-page synopsis for you, But I wouldn't bother to read it. Sheldrake Why not? Betty It's just a rehash of something That wasn't very good to begin with Sheldrake Meet Mr. Gillis, he wrote it Ensemble We should talk Sheldrake This is Miss Kramer Betty Schaefer, Betty Schaefer. And right now, I'd like to crawl into a hole and pull it in after me Joe If I could be of any help... Betty I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis, I couldn't see the point of it Joe What sort of material do you suggest? James Joyce? Dostoyevsky? Betty I think pictures should at least try to say a little something Joe I see you're one of the message kids. I expect you'll have turned down"Gone with the wind" Sheldrake No, that was me Ensemble Gotta run Betty And I guess I was disappointed. I've read some of your other works And I thought you had some real talent Joe Yeah, that was last year. This year I felt like eating. Betty Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis Sheldrake Thank you, Miss Kramer. Well, looks like Zanuck's got himself a baseball picture. Ensemble We should talk, gotta run, let's have lunch Joe You've got to give me some work, I'll take whatever's on offer There must be some shit that needs a rewrite, throw it my way Sheldrake I only wish I could help, there's no spare shit at the moment Remember the greatest writers starved in Garrets, Didn't care about pay Joe Are you trying to be funny Sheldrake I believe in self-denial, give a man some moral backbone Joe Can you loan me three hundred bucks Sheldrake I'm sorry, Gillis, Good-bye Joe I just love Hollywood Myron Morning, Joanna Cliff Where've you been hiding? Sammy Hi there, Lisa Myron How're you doing? Katherine I hate this weather Cliff You look great Liz RKO are O.K. Mary What are you doing? Joanna You look great Girls This is the biggest film ever made Cliff I'm trying to make my mind up Mary Guess I was born to play her Dawn What is my motivation? Joanna You look great Sammy They're taling nominations Liz You should go work for Warners' Myron Is your new script with Sheldrake? Morino I'm very close to Sheldrake Artie We shoot next month Sammy & others Gotta run John Let's drive to Vegas this weekend Joanna Let's have lunch Anita You look great Joanna I'm handling in my second draft Mary It's between me and Dietrich Katherine I've landed a big broadway show Adam I'm gonna work for Metro Cliff Let's have lunch Mary Let's have lunch Girls Let's have lunch, this is the biggest film ever made Myron I'd really love to read it Cliff I'd know just how to light you John Let's have lunch John/Lisa It won't work Morino Let's pencil Thursday morning Group 1 We should talk Group 2 Gotta run Chorus Let's have lunch Hi! Good morning, aren't we lucky? Going to work with Cukor Paramount is paradise, movies from A to Zukor We should talk, gotta run Group 1 Let's have lunch Group 2 We should talk Group 1 Gotta run Group 2 Gotta run All Let's have lunch Joe Come to get your knife back? It's still there, right between my shoulder blades. Every Movie's a Circus Betty I read one of your stories, wasn't it Scribner's, some magazines. Title-something with windows Joe It was 'Blind Windows' if that what you mean Betty That's right, I really liked it Joe I'm all warm and runny inside Betty Let me pitch it to Sheldrake Joe I may be broke but I still have my pride Betty Come on, get off your high horse, Writers with pride don't live in L.A. Silence, exile and cunning, those are the only cards you can play Joe Sheldrake won't buy this story, he likes trash with fairy lights. Jesus, think of the effort trying to get him to heighten his sights. Betty Every movie's a circus, can't we discuss this Schwab's Thursday night? Joe What for? Nothing will happen, I gotta go now, fight the good fight, Betty What's the rush? Joe See those Gorillas? Betty Yes, what about them? Joe Do me a terrific favor, keep them amused while I escape Betty If you're at Schwab's on Thursday Joe Done, look, those guys are after my car, If I lose that in this town, it's like having my legs cut off Betty Let's duck into the soundstage 1st Fin Hey, come on Gillis, give us the keys Betty Shhh! Please be quiet, Mr. De Mille is shooting right over there 1st Fin. So what? Betty He's working on 'Samson and Delilah' They're doing a red hot scene with Hedy Lamarr. You want to stay and watch? 1st Fin. No 2nd Fin. Relax, we got five minutes Both Fin. Men Hey, hey, come back here... Joe What a lovely sight! At the end of the driveway: A great big empty garage. This thing must burn up 10 gallons to a mile. At the House on Sunset Joe Christ, where am I? I had landed in a garden of some palazzo Like an abandoned movie set. Voice You there! Why are you so late? Max This way. Joe Hey look, buddy, I just pulled my car.... Max And wipe your feet! Voice Max! Tell him to wait! Max You heard. If you need my help with the coffin, call me. Joe Hey, wait a minute....Hey, buddy... Norma Any law against burying him in the garden? Joe I wouldn't know. Norma I don't care anyway. Surrender Norma No more wars to fight White flags fly tonight You are out of danger now Battlefield is still Wild poppies on the hill Peace can only come when you surrender Here the tracers fly Lighting up the sky But I'll fight on to the end Let them send their armies I will never bend I won't see you now 'till I surrender I'll see you again when I surrender Now don't you give me a fancy price just because I'm rich. Joe Look, lady, you've got the wrong man. I have some trouble with my car, I just pulled into your driveway. Norma Get out. Joe O.K. I'm sorry you lost your friend. Norma Get out of here. Joe Haven't I seen you somewhere before? Norma Or shall I call my servant? Joe Aren't you Norma Desmond? You used to be in pictures. You used to be big. Norma I am big. It's the pictures that got smal. Once upon a time not long ago, The head of any studio knew how and when to play his aces. Now they put some talentless unknown beneath their sacred microphone. We didn't need words, we had faces. Yes, they took all the idols and smashed them. The Fairbanks, the Gilberts, the Valentinos. They trampled on what was divine They threw away the gold of silence. When all they needed was this face of mine. Joe Hey! Don't blame me, I'm just a writer. With One Look Norma With on look I can break your heart With one look I play every part I can make your sad heart sing With one look you will know All you need to know With one smile I'm the girl next door Or the love that you've hungered for When I speak it's with my soul I can play any role No words can tell the stories my eyes tell Watch me when I frown You can't write that down You know I'm right It's there in black and white When I look your way You'll hear what I say Yes, with one look I put words to shame Just one look sets the screen aflame Silent music starts to play One tear in my eye make the whole world cry. With one look they will forgive the past They'll rejoice: I've returned at last To my people in the dark Still out there in the dark.... Silent music starts to play With one look you'll know all you need to know. With one look I'll ignite a blaze I'll return to my glory days They'll say Norma's back at last This time I am staying I'm staying for good I'll be back where I was born to be With one look I'll be me. Salome Norma Now go. Joe Next time I'll bring my autograph album. Norma Just a minute, you. Did you say you were a writer? Joe That's what it says on my guild card. Norma And you've written pictures? Joe Sure have. Would you like to see my credits? Norma Come over here, I want to ask you something. Just what sort of length is a movie script these days? Joe Depends. Norma I wrote this, it's a very important picture. Joe Looks like six very important pictures. Norma It's for De Mille to direct. Joe Oh, yeah? And will you be in it? Norma Of course. What do you think? Joe Just asking. I didn't know you were planning a come back. Norma I hate the word. It's a return. Joe Well...fair enough. Norma I want you to read it. Joe You shouldn't let another writer read your stuff. He may steal it. Norma I am not afraid. Sit down. Max! Bring something to drink. Max Yes, Madame. Norma I said sit down! It's about Salome. Salome: the story of a woman. The woman who was all women. Salome, what a woman, what a part! Innocent body and a sinful heart, Inflaming Herods' lust, But secretly loving a holy man. No one could play her like I can. Joe Well, I have nothing urgent coming up, I thought I might as well skim it. It's fun to see how bad bad writing can be, This promised to go to the limit. Norma There's so many great scenes. I can't wait. A boiling cauldron of love and hate. She toys with Herod 'Till he putty in her hands He reels tormented through the desert sand. Joe It sure was a real cheery set-up The wind wheezing through that organ Max shuffling around and a dead ape dumped on a shelf And her staring like a gorgon. Norma They drag the Baptist up from the jails. She dances the dance of the seven veils. Herod says: I'll give you anything. Joe Now it was time for some comedy relief The guy with the baby casket. Must have seen a thing or two, that chimp, Shame it was too late to ask it. Norma Have you got to the scene where she asks for his head? If she can't have him living, she'll take him dead. They bring in his head on a silver tray. She kisses his mouth, it's a great screenplay! Joe It got to be eleven, I was feeling ill, What the hell was I doing? Melodrama and sweet champagne And a garbled plot from a scrambled brain; But I had my own plot brewing. Just how old is Salome? Norma Sixteen. Joe I see. Norma Well? Joe It's fascinating. Norma Of course it is. Joe Could be it's a little long Maybe the opening's wrong But it's extremely good for the beginner. Norma No, it's a perfect start, I wrote that with my heart The river-bank, the Baptist and the sinner. Joe Shouldn't there be some dialogues? Norma I can say anything I want with my eyes. Joe It could use a few cuts. Norma I will not have it butchered! Joe I'm not talking limb from limb, I just mean a little trim All you need is someone who can edit. Norma I want someone with a knack Not just any studio hack And don't think for a moment I'd share credit! When were you born? Joe December twenty-first, why? Norma I like Sagittarians. You can trust them. Joe Thanks. Norma I want you to do this work. Joe Me? Gee, I don't know, I'm busy. I just finished one script and I'm about to start a new assignment. Norma I don't care. Joe I'm pretty expensive. I get five hundred a week. Norma Don't you worry about money. I'll make it worth your while. Joe Well. It's getting kind of late. Norma Are you married, Mr...? Joe The name is Gillis. Single. Norma Where do you live? Joe Hollywood. Alto Nido Apartment. Norma You'll stay here. Joe I'll come back early tomorrow. Norma Nonsense. there's a room over the garage. Max will take you there. Max! Max Yes, Madame. Norma Take Mr. Gillis to the guest room. We'll begin at nine sharp. Joe Now this is more like it. Max I made up the bed this afternoon. Joe Thanks. How did you know I was going to stay? Max There's a soap and a toothbrush in the bathroom. Joe She's quite a character, isn't she, that Norma Desmond? The Greatest Star of All Max Once, you won't remember, if you said Hollywood, Here was the face you'd think of, Her face on every billboard, In just a single week she'd get ten thousand letters. Men would offer fortune for a bloom from her corsage Or a few strands of her hair. Today she's half-forgotten, But it's the pictures that got small She is the greatest star of all. Then, you can't imagine, How fans would sacrifice themselves to touch her shadow. There was a Maharajah who hanged himself with one of her discarded stockings. She's immortal caught inside that flickering light beam Is the youth which cannot fade. Madame's a living legend; I've seen so many idols fall She is the greatest star of all. Joe(V.O.) When he'd gone, I stood looking out the window for a while. There was the ghost of a tennis court with faded marking And a sagging net. There was an empty pool where Clara Bow and Fatty Arbuckle Must have swum 10,000 midnights ago. And then there was something else; The chimp's last rites, as if she were laying a child to rest. Was her life really as empty as that? Every Movie's a Circus (Reprise) All Every movie's a circus on the wire without a net Joanna Coffee? Myron I'm up too early, shooting at seven, I gotta go All Movies Boy What's wrong? Mary Can't get a screen test, Don't you hate it when a yes-man says no? All Movies Girl Good part? Boy I'm a policeman "Hang up, punk" that's all I say Actor First time, you work on the lot there Actress I must say R.K.O are O.K. All Movies. Boy Then what? Girl He pressed a button, out of the wall fell a four-poster bed. All Movies, Myron Busy? Joanna They shot my screenplay Myron Isn't that great? Joanna No, they shot the thing dead. All Every movie's a circus on the wire without a net. Boy Lonely? Girl That's how I like it. Boy Can't you be nice? Girl Why? We're not on the set. All Movies Artie Hey, Joe, what are you, slumming? Joe Here for a meeting Artie This time of night? All Movies Joe Yeah, it's some studio smartass, You know I'm famous for being polite. All Movies Artie Guess what? I'm getting married. Joe Congratulations Artie She'll be right back. All Movies Artie Fact is we were just leaving She's been stood up by some uppity hack. All Movies Joe Married, who would have thought it? Why don't you look happy? Come on, be brave. All Movies Artie It's this movie I'm shooting. Joe You first assistant? Artie More like a slave. All Every movie's a circus. Artie But this is a circus movie as well Problems, nothing but problems. Animals, actors, two kinds of hell. All Every movie's a circus on the wire without a net. Betty Well, hello, Mr. Gillis. Artie You two have met? Joe I'm the uppity hack. Artie And she's the studio smartass. Betty What's going on here? Barman Artie, they're calling you back. Betty I just reread "Blind Windows" It needs some real re-working, of course. If we fixed up the opening Artie Call up the wrangler, pay off the horse. Girl Meets Boy Joe Girl meets boy, that's a safe beginning Betty It's nearly closing, I thought you weren't going to show. Joe So did I, I felt it might be kinder Betty What are you saying? Joe Come on, Miss Schaeffer, you know. Betty What? Joe Every time I see some young kid Dreaming they'll produce a masterpiece I just want to throw them on the next train home. Betty Never thought you'd be so condescending, Joe Sorry, Miss Schaeffer, I don't come here to fight. Betty Girl meets boy, if that's how you want it. She's a young teacher, he's a reporter. It's hate at first sight. Joe It won't sell, these days they want glamour; Fabulous hairess meets handsome hollywood heel The problem is, she thiks he's a burglar. Would yo believe it? A wedding in the last reel. Betty It doesn't have to be so mindless. You should write from your experience Give us something really moving; something true. Joe Who wants true? Who the hell wants moving? Moving means starving And true means holes in your shoe. Betty No, you're wrong. They still make good pictures. Stick to your story, it's a good story. Joe O.K. Miss Schaeffer; I give it to you. Betty What do you mean? Joe It's what I said. I've given up writing myself. So you write it. Betty Oh, I'm not good enough to do it on my own. But I thought we could write it together. Joe I can't, I'm all tied up. Betty Couldn't we work evening? Six o'clock in the morning? I'd come to your place. Joe Look, Betty, it can't be done, it's out. Let's keep in touch through Artie. That way if you get stuck, we can at least talk. Write this down, I'll give you some ground rules. Plenty of conflict but nice guy don't break the law. Girl meets boy, she give herself completely And though she loves him Joe/Betty She keep one foot on the floor Betty No one dies except the best friend No one ever mentions communists No one takes a black friend to a restaurant. Joe Very good, nothing I can teach you We could have had fun fighting the studio. Betty Yes, Mr. Gillis. That's just what I want. Artie What a nightmare, good to see you. Come to my new year party. Joe Last year it got out of hand Artie Guaranteed bad behavior Joe See you then Betty Don't give up, you're too good. Joe Thanks. Back At the House on Sunset Max Where have you been? Joe Out. I assume I can go out when I feel like it Max Madame is quite agitated. Earlier this evening, She wanted you for something and you could not be found. Joe Well, that's tough. Max I don't think you understand, Mr. Gillis, Madame is extremely fagile. She has moment of melancholy. There have been suicide attempts. Joe Why? Because of her career? She done well enough. Look at all the fan mail she gets everyday. Max I wouldn't look too closely at the postmarks if I were you. Joe You mean you write them? Max Will you be requiring some supper this evening, sir? Joe No. And Max Max Yes. sir? Joe Who the hell do you think you are, Bringing my stuff up from my apartment Without consulting me? I have a life of my own- Now you're telling me I'm supposed to be a prisoner here. Max I think, perhaps, sir, You will have to make up your mind To abide by the rules of this house. That is, if you want the job. Joe I started work on the script I hacked my way through the thicket A maze of fragmented ramblings by a soul in limbo She hoverd there like a hawk Afraid I'd damage her baby. Norma What's that? Joe I thought we might cut away from the slave market... Norma Cut away from me? Joe Norma, they don't want you in every scene. Norma Of course they do. What else would they have come for? Put it back. Joe I'd made my first big mistake I'd put my foot in the quick sand It wouldn't be a few days paste and scissors This would take weeks. The house was always so quiet Just me and Max and that organ No one phoned and nobody ever came And there was only one kind of entertainment on hand. Max, what's on this evening? I hope it's not one of her weepy melodramas. Max We'll be showing one of Madame's enduring classics: "The Ordeal Of Joan Of Arc" Joe Oh, God, we saw that last week. Max A masterpiece can never fall She is the greatest star of all. New Ways To Dream Norma This was dawn, there were no rules, we were so young, Movies were born; so many songs yet to be sung. So many roads still unexplored; We gave the world new ways to dream. Somehow we found new ways to dream. Joan of Arc; look at my face, isn't it strong? There in the dark, up on the screen, where I belong. We'll show them all nothing has changed, We'll give the world new ways to dream Everyone needs new ways to dream Joe I didn't argue, why hurt her? You don't yell at the sleepwalker Or she could fall and break her neck. She smelled of faded roses, It made me sad to watch her as she relived her glory. Poor Norma, so happy, lost in her silver heaven. Norma Nothing has changed We'll give the world new ways to dream Everyone needs new ways to dream Completion of the Script Joe In December, the rain came. One great big package, Over-sized, like everything else in California; And it came right through the roof of my room Above the garage. So she had me move into the main house. Into what Max called " The room of the husbands" And on a clear day, the theory was, you could see Catalina. And little by little I worked through the end of the script. At which point I might have left; Only by then those two boys from the finance company Had traced my car and towed it away; And I hadn't seen one single dollar of cash money- Since I arrived. Norma Stop that! Today's the day. Joe What do you mean? Norma Max is going to deliver the script to Paramount Joe You're really going to give it to De Mille? Norma I've just spoken with my astrologer. She read De Millle's horoscope; she read mine. Joe Did she read the script? Norma De Mille is Leo; I'm scorpio. Mars is transiting Jupiter, And today is the day of closest conjunction. Joe Oh, well, that's all right, then. Norma Max Max Yes, Madame Norma Make sure it goes to Mr. De Mille in person. Joe Well.... Norma Great day. Joe It's been real interesting Norma Yes...hasn't it? Joe I want to thank you for trusting me with your baby Norma Not at all, it is I who should thank you Joe Will you call and let me know as soon as you have some news? Norma Call? Where? Joe My apartment Norma Oh, but, you couldn't possibly think of leaving now, Joe. Joe Norma, the script is finished. Norma No, Joe, No, it's just the beginning, it's just the first draft; I couldn't dream of letting you go, I need your support. Joe Well, I can't stay. Norma You'll stay on with full salary, of course. Joe Oh, Norma, it's not the money. Yes, of course, I'll stay until we get some sort of news back from Paramount. Norma Thank you, thank you, Joe. Joe So, Max wheeled out that foreign bus Brushed the leopardskin upholstery. He trundled along to Paramount To hand Cecil B. our hopeless opus. My work was over I was feeling no pain. Locked up like John the Baptist. The Lady's Paying Norma Hurry up, the birthday boy is on his way. This is a surprise celebration I hope you've remembered everything I've said I want to see a total transformation Joe What's all this? Norma Happy birthday, darling. Did you think we'd forgotten? Joe Well... I don't know Norma These people are from the best men's shop in town. I had them close it down for a day. Joe Norma, now listen! Norma I'll leave you boys to it. Manfred Happy birthday, welcome to your shopathon Joe What's going on? Manfred Help yourself, it's all been taken care of, Anyone who's anyone is dressed by me. Joe Well, golly gee. Manfred Pick out anything you like a pair of You just point, I'll do the rest I have brought nothing but the best You're a very lucky writer Come along now, get undressed Unless I'm much mistaken That's a 42-inch chest Joe I don't understand a word you're saying Manfred Well, all you need to know's the lady's paying It's nice to get your just reward this time of year. Joe Get out of here! Manfred And all my merchandise is strictly Kosher When you've thrown away all your old worn-out stuff, Joe Hey, that's enough Manfred Perhaps you'd like to model for my brochure I have just a thing for you chalk-stripe suits Salesman 1 In black Salesman2 Or blue Salesman 3 Glen paid trousers Salesman4 Cashmere sweaters Salesman 5 Bathing shorts for Malibu Salesman 6 Here's a patent leather lace-up Salesman7 It's a virtuoso shoe Manfred And a simply marvelous coat made of vicuna Joe You know what you can do with your vicuna Norma Come on, Joe, you haven't even started yet Joe You wanna bet? Norma I thought by now he'd look the height of fashion He always takes forever making up his mind, don't be unkind, I thought you writer knew about compassion I love Flannel on a man Manfred This will complement his tan Norma We'll take two of these and four of those Manfred I'm still your greatest fan! Very soon now we'll have stopped him looking like an also-ran Joe You're going to make me sorry that I'm staying Norma Well, all right. I'll choose, after all, I'm paying. Manfred Evening clothes? Norma I want to see your most deluxe Joe Won't wear a tux Norma Of course not, dear, tuxedos are for waiters. Manfred What we need are tails, a white tie and top hat Joe I can't wear that Norma Joe, second-rate clothes are for second-raters Joe Norma, please Norma Shut up, I'm rich Not some platinum blonde bitch I own so many apartments I've forgotten which is which Joe I don't have to go to premieres I'm never on display You seem to forget that I'm a writer Who cares what you wear when you're a writer? Norma I care, Joe, and please don't be so mean to me. Joe O.K. all right. Norma You can't come to my New Year's Eve party In that filling- station shirt Joe I've been invited somewhere else on New Year's Eve Norma Where? Joe Artie Green. He's an old friend of mine. Norma I can't do without you, Joe, I need you I've sent out every single invitation Joe All right, Norma, I give in Norma Of course, you do And when they've dressed you You'll cause a sensation Salesmen We equip the chosen few of movieland Manfred (The latest cut) Salesmen We dress every movie star and crooner From their shiny toecaps to their hatband Manfred (Conceal your gut) You won't regret selecting the vicuna Salesmen If you need a hand to shake If there's a girl you want to make If there's a soul you're out to capture Or a heart you want to break If you want the world to love you Manfred You'll have to learn to take Salesmen And gracefully accept the role you're playing Manfred You will earn every cent the lady's paying Salesmen So why not have it all? Manfred Now that didn't hurt, did it? Salesmen The lady's paying! New Year's Eve Joe Max, you've pulled the stops out. It looks like a gala night aboard S.S. Titanic. Will we play spot the actor? As if we are visiting a gallery of waxworks? Max Would you rather I mix for you a dry matini Or shall I open a champagne? Joe Max, don't be evasive, who's she invited to the ball? Max Madame herself made every call Norma Here. Happy New Year. Joe Norma, I can't take this. Norma Oh, shut up. Open it. Read what it says. Joe "Mad about the boy" Norma Yes, and you do loook absolutely divine. Joe Well, thank you. Norma I had these tiles put in, you know, Because Rudy Valentino said to me, it takes tiles to tango. Come on. Joe No, no, not on the same floor as Valrntino! Norma Oh come on. come on. come on. Get up. Follow me. And one, two....and one, two, one two together. And one.... Don't lean back like that. Joe Norma, it's that thing. It tickles. The Perfect Year Norma Bring out the old, bring in the new A midnight wish to share with you Your lips are warm, my head is light, Were we in love before tonight? I don't need a crowded ballroom, everything I want is here If you're with me, next year will be the perfect year Joe Before we play some dangerous game; Before we fan some harmless flame We have to ask if this is wise And if the game is worth the prize With this wine and with this music How can anything be clear? Let's wait and see, it may just be the perfect year Norma It's New Year's Eve, and hope are high Dance one year in, kiss one good-bye Another chance, another start So many dreams to tease the heart. We don't need a crowded ballroom, Everything we want is here And face to face, we will embrace, the perfect year We don't need a crowded ballroom, everything we want is here And face to face, we will embrace, the perfect year Joe So, what time are they supposed to get here? Norma Who? Joe The other guests. Norma There are no other guests. Just you and me. I'm in love with you, surely you know that. Joe Norma.... Norma We'll have a wonderful time next year. I'll have the pool filled up for you. I'll open up my house in Malibu, And you can have the whole ocean. I have enough money to buy us anything we want. Joe Cut out that "us" business Norma What's the matter with you? Joe What right do you have to take me for granted? Norma What right? Do you want me to tell you? Joe Norma, what I'm trying to say is that I'm the wrong guy for you; You need a big shot, someone with polo ponies, a Valentino... Norma What you're trying to say is, you don't want me to love you. Say it! Say it! Joe Max. Get me a taxi. I had to get out, I needed to be with people my own age, To hear the sound of laughter and mix with hungry actors, Underemployed composers, nicotine-poisoned writers, Real people, real problems, having a really good time. This Time Next Year Artie Hey, Gillis! We'd given you up. Let me take your coat. Jesus, Joe, what's this made of? Mink? Who did you borrow this from? Adolphe Menjou? Joe Close, but no cigar. Hey! It's quite a crowd. Artie I invited all the kids doing walk-ons in "Samson and Delilah" Betty Where have you been hiding? I called your apartment. I called your ex-agent. I was about to call the Bureau of Missing Persons. Joe Well, they always know where to find me. Richard A. Hey, Sammy! You gotta say your new year's resolution out loud. Jean! Jean By this time next year, I'll have landed a juicy part Steve Nineteen fifty will be my start Richard T. No more carrying spears Mary I'll be discovered, my life won't ever be the same. Billy Wilder will know my name And he will call me all the time Katherine 'Til he does, can one of you guy lend her a dime? Alisa Just an apartment with no roaches and no dry rot Anita Where the hot water comes out hot Both That's my Hollywood dream Richard A. Your resolution Joanna Is to write something that get shot With approximately the plot I first had in my head Myron But you'll get rewritten even after you're dead. Richard A. Artie! Artie It's a year to begin a new life Buy a place somewhere quiet, somewhere pretty. When you have a young kid and a wife Then you need somewhere green far from the city It's rambling old house with a big apple tree With a swing for the kid and a hammock for me. Sammy Behold, my children, it is I, Cecil B. De Mille, Meeting me must be quite a thrill, Adam But there's no need to kneel Sammy I guarantee you every girl in my chorus line Is a genuine Philistine Sandy They don't come off the shelf Sammy I flew everyone in from Philistia myself Betty I have some good news, it's "Blind Windows" Joe You don't let go Betty I gave Sheldrake an outline, Joe, and he swallowed the bait. Joe Well, Hallelujah! Betty While you have been buying vicuna coats, I have been making a lot of notes, Now there's work we should do... Joe Betty, you're forgetting that I gave it to you You remind me of me long ago Off the bus, full of ignorant ambition Thought I'd waltz into some studio And achieve overight recognition, I've seen too many optimists sinking like stones Felt them suck all the marrow clean out of my bones. Betty I love "Blind Windows" but I can't write it on my own. Can't we speak on the telephone? All my evening are free. Artie Hey, just a minute, I'm the fellow who bought the ring Betty Artie, this is a business thing it's important to me You'll be on location in Clinch, Tennessee. Please make this your New Year's resolution for me. All By this time next year I will get my foot in the door Next year I know I'm going to score an amazing success Cut to the moment when they open the envelope Pass the statuette to Bob Hope and it's my name you hear We'll be down on our knees outside Grauman's chinese Palm prints there on the street immortality's neat! This time next year, this time next year. We'll have nothing to fear contracts all signed Three-pictures deal yellow brick road career Hope we're not still saying these things this time next year. Joe You know, I think I will be available in the New Year. In fact, I'm available right now. Betty Joe, that's great! Joe Hey, Artie, where's your phone? Artie Under the bar Joe Hey, Artie, You think you could put me up for a couple of weeks? Artie It's just so happens we've got a vacancy on the couch Joe I'll take it. Max Yes? Joe Max, it's Mr. Gillis, I want you to do me a favor Max I'm sorry Mr. Gillis. I can't talk right now Joe Listen, I want you to take my old suitcases... Max I'm sorry, I'm attending to Madame. Joe What do you mean? Max Madame found a razor in your room. And she's cut her wrists. All Three, two, one, Happy New Year! Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne. For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne We'll take a cup of kindness yet for the sake of auld lang syne New Year's Eve (Back At the House on Sunset) Norma Go away. Joe What kind of silly thing was that to do? Norma I'll do it again! I'll do it again! I'll do it again! Joe Attractive headline: "Great star killed herself for an unknown writer." Norma Great star has great pride You must have some girl; Why don't you go to her? Joe I never meant to hurt you, Norma, You've been good to me, You're the only person in this stinking town That's ever been good to me Norma Then why don't you say thank you and go? Go, go. Go! Joe Happy New Year Norma Happy New Year, darling. Sunset Boulevard Joe Sure, I came out here to make my name Wanted my pool, my dose of fame Wanted my parking space at Warners' But after a year a one-room hell A murphy bed a rancid smell Wallpaper peeling at the corners Sunset Boulevard, twisting Boulevard Secretive and rich, a little scary Sunset Boulevard, tempting Boulevard Waiting there to swallow the unwary Dreams are not enough to win a war Out here they're always keeping score Beneath the tan, the battle rages Smile a rented smile, fill someone glass Kiss someone's wife, kiss someone's ass We do whatever pays the wages Sunset Boulevard, headline Boulevard Getting here is only the beginning Sunset Boulevard, jackpot Boulevard Once you've won you have to go on winning You think I've sold out? Dead right I've sold out. I just keep waiting for the right offer Comfortable quarters, regular rations, 24-hour, five-star room service. And if I'm honest I like the lady I can't help being touched by her folly I'm treading water, taking the money Watching her sunset....well, I'm a writer L.A.'s changed a lot over the years Since those brave gold rush pioneers Came in their creaky covered wagons Far as they could go end of the line Their dreams were yours, their dreams were mine But in those dreams were hidden dragons Sunset Boulevard, frenzied Boulevard Swamped with every kind of false emotion Sunset Boulevard, brutal Boulevard Just like you, we'll wind up in the ocean She was sinking fast, I threw a rope Now I have suits and she has hope It seemed an elegant solution One day this must end, it isn't real Still, I'll enjoy a hearty meal Before tomorrow's execution Sunset Boulevard, ruthless Boulevard Destination for the stony-hearted Sunset Boulevard, lethal Boulevard Everyone's forgotten how they started Here on Sunset Boulevard There's Been a Call / Journey To Paramount Norma There's been a call. What did I say? They want to see me right away Joe, Paramount, they love our child, Mr. De Mille is going wild Joe Well, that's wonderful, Norma Norma But it was some fool assistant, not acceptable at all If he wants me, then Cecil B. himself must call Joe I don't know if this is the time to stand on ceremony Norma I've been waiting twenty years now What a few more days, my dear? It's happened ,Joe, I told you so, the perfect year. Now, let's go upstairs Joe Shouldn't you at least call back? Norma No; they can wait until I'm good and ready Joe (V.O.) It took her three days and she was ready She checked with her astrologer, who sacrifice a chicken She dressed up like a Pharoh, slapped on a pound of make-up And set forth in her chariot, poor Norma, so happy, Re-entering her kingdom Max (V.O.) If you will pardon me, Madame, The shadow over the left eye is not quite balanced. Norma (V.O.) Thank you, Max Guard Hey, that's enough of that Max To see Mr. De Mille. Open the gate. Guard Mr. De Mille is shooting. You need an appointment Max This is Norma Desmond. No appointment is neccessary Guard Norma, who? Norma Jonesy? Jones Why, if it isn't Miss Desmond. How have you been, Miss Desmond? Norma Fine, Jonesy, Open the gate Jones You heard Miss Desmond. Guard They don't have a pass. Jones Stage 18, Miss Desmond. Norma Thank you Jonesy. And teach your friend some manners. Tell him without me there wouldn't be any Paramount studio Jones Get me stage 18, I have a message for Mr. De Mille Heather Mr. De Mille? De Mille What is it? Heather Norma Desmond is here to see you, Mr. De Mille De Mille Norma Desmond? Heather She's here at the studio De Mille It must be about that appalling script of hers. What shall I say? Heather Maybe I could give her a brush De Mille Thirty million fans have given her the brush. Isn't that enough? Give me a minute. Norma Won't you come along, darling? Joe It's your script. It's your show. Good luck Norma Thank you, darling Heather Miss Desmond De Mille Well, well, well, Norma Hello, Mr. De Mille, the last time I saw you, We