Ilf and Petrov. The Twelve Chairs
PART I:
PART II:
PART III:
INTRODUCTION
MAURICE FRIEDBERQ
THE LION OF STARGOROD
CHAPTER ONE
BEZENCHUK AND THE NYMPHS
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
THE PARABLE OF THE SINNER
CHAPTER FOUR
THE MUSE OF TRAVEL
CHAPTER FIVE
THE SMOOTH OPERATOR
USSR RSFSR
CHAPTER SIX
A DIAMOND HAZE
CHAPTER SEVEN
TRACES OF THE TITANIC
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE BASHFUL CHISELLER
A BRASS BAND IS THE PATH
FOOD IS THE SOURCE OF HEALTH
CHAPTER NINE
WHERE ARE YOUR CURLS?
CHAPTER TEN
THE MECHANIC, THE PARROT, AND THE FORTUNE-TELLER
ODESSA ROLL BAKERY
V.M. POLESOV
FASHIONS AND MILLINERY
ENTRANCE TO METAL WORKSHOP
METAL WORKSHOP
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE MIRROR-OF-LIFE INDEX
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THE ALLIANCE OF THE SWORD AND PLOUGHSHARE
PART II
IN MOSCOW
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
A SEA OF CHAIRS
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
THE BROTHER BERTHOLD SCHWARTZ HOSTEL
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
HAVE RESPECT FOR MATTRESSES, CITIZENS!
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
THE FURNITURE MUSEUM
MUSEUM OF FURNITURE-MAKING
CHAPTER NINETEEN
VOTING THE EUROPEAN WAY
CHAPTER TWENTY
FROM SEVILLE TO GRANADA
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
PUNISHMENT
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
ELLOCHKA THE CANNIBAL
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
ABSALOM VLADIMIROVICH IZNURENKOV
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
THE AUTOMOBILE CLUB
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CONVERSATION WITH A NAKED ENGINEER
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
TWO VISITS
KNOCKED DOWN BY A HORSE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
THE MARVELLOUS PRISON BASKET
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
THE HEN AND THE PACIFIC ROOSTER
NO ADMITTANCE
NO ADMITTANCE TO OUTSIDERS
NO ENTRY
NO ENTRY EXCEPT ON BUSINESS
NO CONSULTATIONS
BY YOUR VISIT YOU ARE DISTURBING A BUSY MAN
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
THE AUTHOR OF THE "GAVRILIAD"
CHAPTER THIRTY
IN THE COLUMBUS THEATRE
PART III
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
A MAGIC NIGHT ON THE VOLGA
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
A SHADY COUPLE
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
EXPULSION FROM PARADISE
WITH THIS CHAIR
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
THE INTERPLANETARY CHESS TOURNAMENT
A FRUITFUL OPENING IDEA
A SIMULTANEOUS CHESS MATCH
ASSISTANCE TO DROWNING PERSONS IS
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
ET ALIA
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
A VIEW OF THE MALACHITE PUDDLE
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
THE GREEN CAPE
GOODS FOUND STOP WIRE ME TWO HUNDRED THIRTY STOP SELL ANYTHING STOP
SOLD EVERYTHING STOP NOT A CENT LEFT STOP KISSES AND AM WAITING STOP
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
UP IN THE CLOUDS
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
THE EARTHQUAKE
GOING TO CRIMEA AS YOU ADVISED STOP PREPARE BASKET JUST IN CASE
THEATRE NEWS
CHAPTER FORTY
THE TREASURE
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