Which has allowed him to defy the king, Laugh at his foes, and scorn the agents of The Holy Inquisition. It's no wonder, Then, that our women, with their customary Severity of judgment are prepared To break their pledges and to mock their husbands, And seek the answers to unuttered prayers In Don Juan's arms. However, on my part, I find myself increasingly reluctant To join my voice to theirs in condemnation Of that supposedly repugnant man. (a contemptuous smile plays on his lips; the preacher is gone; the poetic thinker takes his place) What makes our women flock to him, I ask? Is he indeed so irresistible, Or is the alternative so unappealing? CONCHITA Ottavio, take me there. I want to see That man. OTTAVIO See him? And why? CONCHITA I cannot say. OTTAVIO Ah, sister! What about that youthful rhymester, That balladeer? CONCHITA He is of common birth. He loves me well, sweet creature that he is, So credulous, so soft - so ordinary. I want to see the fabled man of passion, The legendary lover, whose dark eye Pierces a maiden's heart at once, who knows No obstacles.... nor fear. OTTAVIO (prosaically) His eyes are blue. At least, that's what his former mistresses Tell their acquaintances at public functions. CONCHITA No matter. Take me there, dear brother, please! OTTAVIO I might as well. I have to be there too If only to pick up Diego's corpse. I wanted purity, not calculation - To be accepted based on my own merits Or shown the door. Alas, the one I love Will now have reason to consent without Being too picky. Married on such terms, I doubt there'll be much happiness in store For us. Well, go. I'll meet you at the convent. I need to be alone for now. Adieu. CONCHITA I'm off, then. She leaves. OTTAVIO What a melancholy epoch. I do not want unearned advantages! Diego, pompous fool! I am ashamed to own I almost wish you were the better swordsman! Curtain. ACT TWO SCENE FOUR At the Commander's statue. Early evening. Conchita runs in, looks furtively around, goes to the statue, looks up. CONCHITA How boring is that face! How grim and ugly. My future husband is far more attractive. And his opponent? Ah, how much I'd give To steal a glance! I've heard so many rumors About his ways, his manner, his appearance! He's quite tall, I fancy; dark, and slender, With gentle hands and formidable strength. His eyes - blue? brown? - shine like the brightest stars, A frolicsome half-smile plays on his lips. The intrepid traveler, the gallant lover! Suppose I should encounter him! What then? What would he say and how would I react? "Good morning, Såñîrita!" Truly, I Would in all likelihood just lose my tongue! I ought to be prepared. "What is your name?" "Conchita, sir." What vapid nonsense, really! Why would he even bother with my type? And yet.... But quiet now! There's someone coming. She hides behind the statue. Enter Don Juan, sheet of paper in hand. He looks furtively around, places the sheet on the pedestal, produces an ink bottle and pen, starts writing. Enter the Bag Lady (former Hostess). THE BAG LADY Ah, kind Såñîr! So handsome and so noble! I know you have some coins for me. You do Look generous. Såñîr? DON JUAN (interrupted; with furious civility) I beg your pardon? THE BAG LADY A little silver for the unworthy beggar! DON JUAN Oh, go away! (resumes writing) THE BAG LADY So rude! (philosophically) Such are the times. And yet, when I was younger and much prettier, The jolly hostess of a seedy inn, I often was a marvelous success Even with your aristocratic kind. Say, fellow, do I know you?! My, you seem Mighty familiar, even in this light. DON JUAN (writing) Away, I said. THE BAG LADY That formidable posture, That haughty look, those eyes sparkling with mischief - We must have met before. (a pause) There is a scar On your left thigh. DON JUAN Please leave. You're most annoying.... What did you say? (a pause) Indeed. (a pause) Can't be. THE BAG LADY Oh, yes. You are that boy who slew Commander Sanchez. I know you now. Well, look at you. You've changed. That noble gray in your once jet-black locks Is an improvement, surely; and your wrist Is firmer now, I'm certain. You've acquired A touch of wisdom in your look. Most charming. Well, on my part, you see, I'm out of training. Once famous for my looks and easy ways, I used to keep an inn; now I am ruined. They like a hostess who is young and fresh; They're all the same - all! commoners and nobles; The beauty of experience is lost On them completely. Bastards. I don't blame them. Bless them - let them enjoy it while they can As best they can. Now, how about some silver? Don Juan takes out some silver, gives it to her. THE BAG LADY I thank you kindly. DON JUAN Go away. THE BAG LADY So rude! She leaves. DON JUAN Talk if you would of aging gracefully. Well, almost finished. Two more lines. Let's do it. (writes) Enter Don Diego. DON DIEGO Såñîr Don Juan! DON JUAN Yes, yes. Wait. Just a second. DON DIEGO (sonorously) Shall we begin? DON JUAN (writing) Yes, presently. Don Diego draws his sword. DON DIEGO I have No time to waste. DON JUAN (turns to him) Sooner or later, sir, You'll burn in hell, so what's another moment To you? DON DIEGO I beg to differ. I intend To send you there ahead of me. DON JUAN To be Your scout? DON DIEGO Unworthy wretch! DON JUAN Do cease, Såñîr, Your protestations. Look, this is important, For it concerns your sister. DON DIEGO Scoundrel! What! My sister, too! Interminably wicked! DON JUAN Yes, I'm a scoundrel. All you gentlemen Are proper, kindly, virtuous, and devoted. Which is, perhaps, why I'm the only one Who's thought of dedicating a few verses To Dona Anna. I'm the ghastly villain Who dares to offer love where pity's due, A gallant's kiss by way of sympathy, A husband's hand where one would click one's tongue Apologetically, and turn away. My villainy shall soon be duly punished, I see. Be careful. Pious ecstasy Might cause you mischief yet. DON DIEGO Dare you provoke me! DON JUAN However scanty, sir, your education Ought to enable you to tell apart - For, take my word for it, it's no great art - A threat - to warn you - and a provocation To make you fight. DON DIEGO On guard, sir. He thrusts. Don Juan jumps back, draws. DON JUAN Steady, steady! I'm glad I've made my point. Well, when you're ready. They fight. Don Juan disarms Don Diego. DON JUAN You've dropped your sword, it seems. Pray pick it up. Don Diego does. Don Juan disarms him again. DON JUAN Ah, you're so clumsy. Well, let's try again. They do. Don Juan wounds Diego in the shoulder. The latter drops his sword. DON JUAN Now that you've had your fun, Såñîr, please leave. DON DIEGO Villain. DON JUAN Oh, really, spare me your objections. You came here to defend Rodrigo's honor. You have defended it, though somewhat clumsily. What more, pray, do you want? And, if it is My company, then - well, I must decline. Your talk is utterly unstimulating. Have a physician dress your wound, and have A good night's rest. Tomorrow, you'll feel better. Adieu, Såñîr. DON DIEGO Stay, libertine! (draws his dagger) This dagger I pulled from Don Rodrigo's chest. DON JUAN Indeed. Well, good for you. I give you my permission From now on to regard it as your own. Dispose, then, of it as you like. You could Use it to plug a certain orifice Too private to be named. Adieu, Såñîr. Don Diego throws him a terrible look, leaves staggering. Don Juan returns to his poem. Conchita comes out, but before he has time to notice her, Leporello runs in, agitated, wearing a nobleman's clothes - and she hides again. LEPORELLO Såñîr, Såñîr! DON JUAN Ah, Leporello! LEPORELLO Whew! So glad to see you. You're alive and well. DON JUAN Indeed, my friend. Why? LEPORELLO I just heard, my lord, That Don Diego, sword in hand, was looking For you. DON JUAN What then? LEPORELLO I rushed to intervene. DON JUAN You did? Are you, perchance, of noble birth? Is there a title I don't know about? You take too much upon yourself, my friend. During the following exchange, Conchita slips from behind the statue and steals away unnoticed. LEPORELLO I merely do my best to serve your lordship. DON JUAN What's with the costume? LEPORELLO This? Oh. My disguise. I was afraid of being recognized. DON JUAN (amused) What was I thinking! Sure. Don Leporello, The most illustrious valet in Spain In order to conceal his true identity Must wear the rich dress of a cavalier. So simple, yet so brilliant. LEPORELLO Thank you. Now.... DON JUAN There must be something terribly important At hand, that you should fear being discovered. I hate to interrupt you, for I'm sure that Your enterprises of great pitch and moment Are more important than the little errand You'll have to run for me; and yet, I must Insist. Here, take this letter to her castle; And, once you're done, unseal this little note And read it carefully; you'll find it curious. LEPORELLO Whose castle? DON JUAN Dona Anna's. What's the matter? LEPORELLO Her brother, sir.... DON JUAN There's been an accident. He pricked his shoulder on my sword. LEPORELLO I knew it! Arrangement of affairs, my master's forte. The husband's dead, the brother wounded; now Send Leporello to the grieving widow With a love note! She'll die of happiness. DON JUAN Hush! She must not know who I am. You hear? Don Pedro is my name. LEPORELLO Why, that is wise. I'm not the only one with a disguise. DON JUAN Well, go. LEPORELLO Såñîr, you scorn the living, but Surely you must respect the dead! DON JUAN What, the Whole lot of them, pray, or someone specific? LEPORELLO Him! (points at the statue) DON JUAN (gives the statue an appraising look) Oh! Indeed, I do respect him. LEPORELLO Not really. Or, at least, it doesn't show. DON JUAN Pray what is it you'd like to see me do? Invite this chunk of marble trash for dinner? LEPORELLO Well, anything is better than contempt. DON JUAN Have it your way! I'm getting married shortly.... LEPORELLO (his eyes flash; joyously) Married, my lord? DON JUAN Yes. Either that - or death. Love at my age could not withstand rejection. LEPORELLO Who is the bride, my lord? DON JUAN Why, Dona Anna Of course, you fool! LEPORELLO Oh, no! Reflect, my lord! She's past child-bearing. DON JUAN What is that to me? Besides, one never knows until one's tried. I am in love! Hot tears shed by a man Who'd never wept before are proof enough Of the heart-rending purity of feeling. LEPORELLO Pray reconsider! DON JUAN Hush. My mind's made up. However, since tomorrow I'll be dining With Dona Anna at her place, suppose I should invite this heap of stone to join us? LEPORELLO What blasphemy, my lord! DON JUAN A gesture, merely. If that is not respect, what is? Now, go And tell him that I'll be expecting him. LEPORELLO Whom? DON JUAN Why, the statue. LEPORELLO What astounding madness! DON JUAN Go on! LEPORELLO No way! DON JUAN What, are you superstitious? A bit of thrashing, then, might make you braver. LEPORELLO Please don't. I go. DON JUAN Ah, good. Leporello approaches the statue. LEPORELLO (to the statue) Noble Såñîr! My master's whims are known throughout this land. He means well, I assure you. Like, for instance, The other day, he wooed a local girl, The daughter of a farmer.... DON JUAN Make it brief. You have a letter to deliver, mind you. LEPORELLO (to Don Juan) Look here, you have your own style; I have mine. (to the statue) So! With all due respect, I must, Såñîr, Obey my master's orders. I see how It might be difficult for stone to travel; The laws of gravity and locomotion Cannot be disregarded easily. It seems, however, that your noble widow, Who is intent on throwing dinner parties For rogues and libertines, gives her permission To Don Juan here to bring a friend. And since I hardly qualify as one, he wonders - Not I! He! - whether you would not be busy Tomorrow night.... Ah! ah! My Lord! DON JUAN What now? LEPORELLO I thought it moved just now. DON JUAN Your eloquence Could move a mountain, let alone a statue. To me, you sound just like a politician. Long-winded speeches, meaningless, and boring, A mere excuse for being dull and idle, For taking money from the honest man And rendering no true service in return. You make me sick! Confounded cowardice! Look, it's so simple. Watch me, imbecile. (approaches the statue) Commander, join me for a modest meal At Dona Anna's place tomorrow night. THE STATUE (thunderously) I WILL. Don Juan and Leporello spring back. DON JUAN (drawing his sword) See how effective simple words can be?... A pause. LEPORELLO I'm gonna die. DON JUAN Indeed, you do surprise me. I thought you were immortal. LEPORELLO Master, please, Let's leave this place. Let's show our countrymen That, great though he once was, Såñîr Columbus Was not the only one who could discover New continents. DON JUAN Shut up. You have the letter. Deliver it. I'll see you at the inn. He leaves. LEPORELLO I cannot move! Letter! I'm not a mailman! Ah, villain! Traitor! Coward! Enter Ottavio. OTTAVIO Ah, it's you! Where is your master, my good man? LEPORELLO Ottavio? Oh, thank you! thank you! Someone sane, at last. My master is a sordid libertine, A perfect demon! OTTAVIO Yes. Why serve him, then? LEPORELLO Quite right! Greed is my downfall, good Ottavio! I am of noble birth. OTTAVIO You are? LEPORELLO I am. A long, long time ago I made a promise To that rogue's uncle that I'd see to it That their line would not perish. Greed, Ottavio. The uncle put it in his ghastly will That on the day Don Juan's first child was born, I would inherit half of his estate. My own relations being all impoverished, I eagerly agreed. And thereupon I had to, for as long as it would take, Look after him; protect him, follow him Wherever he had half-a-mind to go. What better way than to become his servant? Now, all is lost! For Dona Anna could No longer bear a child. Or could she? Oh, How cruel is my lot! OTTAVIO What? Dona Anna?! LEPORELLO He's set to marry her, the filthy rogue. OTTAVIO A lifetime's hope is shattered. LEPORELLO That's correct. OTTAVIO Ah! All is lost. LEPORELLO The property and income. OTTAVIO Tomorrow I was going to propose. Would throw myself at Dona Anna's feet, Would kiss the hem of her beloved dress, Would sing her beauty, soak her hand in tears. Alas! LEPORELLO Alas! He could have married briefly Some wench, bred her a child, and left. Why not? Men do it all the time - so, why not he? And I - I would have had my half-estate, My income, even my good name! The rogue! OTTAVIO The demon! LEPORELLO Oh, the libertine! OTTAVIO The beast! A pause. LEPORELLO It has been prophesied that I should gain Salvation if I wed a fallen woman And bring her back into the world of virtue. Plenty of fallen women here; however How can I bring one where I've never been? I wouldn't know my way around.... And yet.... (a pause; judiciously) But why two missives? Did I hear him say That one of them was - what? addressed to me? To me! Since when, pray, has it been a custom For lord and servant to communicate In writing? Is he mad? I shouldn't wonder. He unseals one of the scrolls, reads the first few lines, suddenly presses the letter to his chest, staring into space wildly. OTTAVIO Revenge? Bah! I am not Diego. Death? LEPORELLO (clutching the letter, looking around at the statue) I - can't - believe - my - eyes! I must be dreaming. OTTAVIO I must be dreaming. What an awful dream! LEPORELLO Such dreams are rare - why, I must not awaken! OTTAVIO Such nightmares can be fatal; wake and rise. Oh, Dona Anna! LEPORELLO (suddenly realizing) Why, but you're in love! This Dona Anna must be quite a lass To occupy so many people's thoughts. OTTAVIO What should I do? LEPORELLO Off hand, I'd say, get drunk. OTTAVIO I might as well. That inn just down the road Must be forever the poor poet's lot. Still better than the noose up in the attic. LEPORELLO Right. For a man of rhymes, you're too pragmatic, My dear young friend. Such are the times, they say. OTTAVIO I'm off, then. LEPORELLO Yes, yes, please. Do go away. Ottavio leaves. LEPORELLO Reality or dreamland? Truth or fiction? Whose game? Darkness or light? Whose jurisdiction? Read it again? I'm frightened. Come what may! Success was long in coming. What a day. He reads. Don Juan's voice resounds through the loud speaker. DON JUAN'S VOICE The ghastly sinner called Såñîr Don Juan, A humble scion of the house of Alba, I hearby do declare that, being clear Of mind, and sound of body, I have made My will. A certain enterprise which I Propose to undertake tomorrow will be In my near future the deciding factor. Thus, should I fail, as well I might, my plan Is to become a monk; in which event All I possess - my money, my estate, My horses and my ship must pass to him Who trades under the name of Leporello. We've known each other for some twenty years; We have been friends. LEPORELLO Oh, my! DON JUAN'S VOICE Though he believes - A queer attempt at self-justification - That he has stuck with me through thick and thin Only to satisfy his greed; that petty hopes Of gold and fame sustain his loyalty. He is in error. We've traversed the world, We've shared, as equals will, clothes, meals, and lodgings; I would assume, unless I'm much mistaken, That once or twice we've even shared a woman. Dear Leporello, as my only friend, Must promise, in exchange for my donation, To see to it that, when I die, my body Be laid to rest under the convent's threshold, That all who cross it might debase my bones, For I have sinned; and that no name be carved Upon my tomb. However, should I live And love tomorrow night, my Leporello Is still entitled to whatever portion Of my commodities he may find useful. Be happy, friend, if happiness indeed Is possible under the sun. God bless you. Just one thing more. Should anything befall A certain Dona Anna; should she be In need of money or advice - give both. A nobleman (which, I suspect, you are, Though you conceal it for some murky reason) Must never stoop to arrogance. Your friend, Companion and compatriot Don Juan. LEPORELLO (doubtfully) Is he in danger? Loyalty indeed! The incorrigible twaddler! Must I look For him? What is the rascal up to? He leaves. Curtain. SCENE FIVE The same scene as in Scene One, Act One. Ottavio and Don Juan. A guitar leaned up against the table. Cups, bottles. Ottavio is somewhat drunk and continues drinking. OTTAVIO By Jove, you are good company, Don Pedro. I live again, though barely. Since you know So many things, tell me - in your opinion, What kind of man is this Don Juan? DON JUAN He's civil, A gentleman; well-mannered. OTTAVIO Yes, but why This rapid change of attitude? At once He spares a foe and then he promptly marries? I've heard so much - Madrid is full of rumors; This last adventure does not sound like him At all. DON JUAN People do change. OTTAVIO Yes, I suppose They do. And yet.... Only a month ago What was Don Juan to me? Merely a name. He's now a giant, man! A gruesome warlock Of boundless pow'r, but is he real? Is he Of bone and flesh, like you and I? Can he Feel hunger?... thirst?... DON JUAN Well, he must have some feelings. OTTAVIO You are too good, Don Pedro. Enter Conchita. OTTAVIO Sister, here! Dear sister - let me introduce you. Come. This is my friend Don Pedro. (to Don Juan) Look, Conchita Though still a child, is spoiled beyond salvation. Mental debauchery, outward propriety, A certain primness of one's ways: that's our society. CONCHITA Ottavio.... OTTAVIO (quite drunk) But you see, a woman's nature Must have an outlet.... CONCHITA (to Don Juan) Pardon me, my lord. My brother always acts like this when he Is suff'ring from a broken heart. I didn't Quite hear your name. DON JUAN Don Pedro, Såñîrita, Quite at your service. OTTAVIO (to Don Juan) Imagine, poor Conchita is so eager To brighten up her dull life with romance, She seems to have decided she's in love With - whom d'you think? Don Juan! She's never seen him Except in dreams.... CONCHITA You are mistaken, Brother. We've met, Don Juan and I. OTTAVIO Yes, in your dreams. CONCHITA No, in reality. OTTAVIO But when? CONCHITA Just now. OTTAVIO (an attempt at livening) He's in the neighborhood? CONCHITA Indeed he is. OTTAVIO Well, what's he like, tell me? CONCHITA (looking Don Juan in the eye) He's short and fat. He's elderly, he has no teeth; he wears A simple dress. DON JUAN (to Conchita, pointedly) Only one leg, I think. CONCHITA A patch over his right eye.... DON JUAN ...while the left one Is missing altogether. CONCHITA A big belly. OTTAVIO (drunkenly) But if he be such a repugnant knave, How come, then.... CONCHITA Well, you see, a woman's nature Must have an outlet. Ottavio drops his head on the table and falls asleep. DON JUAN Finally! I say, A moralist can never hold his liquor. CONCHITA It's true, though. DON JUAN What? CONCHITA Those ghastly things he said About my character. I am a prude, A hypocrite, a swindler, and a liar. DON JUAN It takes all kinds to make the world. CONCHITA And you? DON JUAN I - what? CONCHITA You aren't quite a prude, I grant you. But all those other traits? Where is your servant? DON JUAN I don't know what to tell you. CONCHITA It's quite simple. Just offer me your hand and lead me through That door - the guest room, I believe, or is it? (a pause) Didn't this wretch just tell you that I loved you? And didn't I myself confirm it promptly? I love you, Juan. DON JUAN I wouldn't put it past you. A shrewd disguise is worth exactly nothing; Serfs turn aristocrats; and marble talks. A sure sign that the world has lost its mind, Or I mine. Women love you sight unseen, A moralist calls you his friend - what else Is there in store for me? CONCHITA A song. She rises, picks up the guitar, sits on the table, strums. DON JUAN A song? CONCHITA I know some new ones. Would you like to hear An old one, though? I reckon it was written Ere I was born. It's very soothing. Listen. She begins to sing. CONCHITA (sings) ....So young and fair, She was eager to hear.... Don Juan springs to his feet. Conchita falls silent. DON JUAN I'll never change. It's hopeless. But at least I know it now. I might as well admit That there's no longer room for me in Spain. Tomorrow, then, aboard a chartered ship.... CONCHITA You've heard this song before? DON JUAN I will not ruin Her life with my abominable presence. Tomorrow.... Should I pay a farewell visit? Bah! What's the use? Futility and weakness! And selfishness. This is my lot. (to Conchita, as an answer to her cue) ....I wrote it. CONCHITA I thought as much. DON JUAN You seem to do a lot Of thinking in your spare time. Yet, I like you. CONCHITA You like me? Why? DON JUAN Your opalescent beauty, The quickness of your eye, the graceful wrist, Your voice - have stirred in me a host of feelings Which I cannot resist. CONCHITA You find me pretty? DON JUAN Astonishingly so. But there's much more Than vulgar beauty in your charming image. You're vital, bold, impetuous, strong, and tender. You're life itself. He comes up to her, walks around her, stands behind her and speaks into her ear in an undertone. DON JUAN Alluring and inspiring, You're every poet's dream. You're very pretty. You are.... well.... pretty. Yes. Pretty's the word. (waits for inspiration; none comes) Pretty is what you are. Yes. Very pretty. This is no good. He steps away from her. She turns around, amazed, still expectant, a little impatient. CONCHITA Well, what's the matter now? DON JUAN No good at all. There is a limit, surely, To one's abasement! There! I've had enough! Heavy stomping off-stage. CONCHITA Anything wrong? DON JUAN What is that sound? CONCHITA What sound? The stomping is louder. DON JUAN That - damn it! Marble walking! Look, Conchita.... He looks tentatively at the door, approaches her again. DON JUAN Your eyes - abysmal, full of love and life! I've never seen such eyes! And then, your lips Are coral lips, and then.... The stomping ceases. DON JUAN (listening intently) So, that's the trick! He's gone. Conchita! CONCHITA (eagerly) Yes? DON JUAN Come here, my love. And have a drink with me. And sing a song. She comes close to him, dragging the guitar on the floor. He takes her free hand, bends and kisses it. The lights fade briefly, come on again. It is an hour later. Ottavio is still asleep at the table. Conchita is sitting on Don Juan's lap; they are kissing languidly. CONCHITA I love you so. Oh, darling, take me, take me! He lifts her in his arms and rises; he walks somewhat unsteadily towards the door, center stage. Both laugh. The lights fade again. The main theme from the ballad plays softly. A beam of light strikes the backdrop. It is morning. Ottavio moans, continueds to asleep at the table. Don Juan comes out of the center-stage door, carrying his doublet, his cloak, his boots, his sword, and his hat. He looks around furtively, sees Ottavio, shrugs, begins hastily to dress. He leaves quickly without once turning around. Ottavio wakes up. He moans, straightens with difficulty. Conchita walks out of the guest room slowly, clad in a semblance of a nightshirt. CONCHITA Morning.... The sun.... OTTAVIO Oh, yes. Ouch! CONCHITA Yes. He's gone. OTTAVIO Who? CONCHITA (with helpless malice) Why, the gentleman. OTTAVIO Don Pedro? CONCHITA ....Yes. OTTAVIO Oh, yes. He is. I see. And I was going To follow him, except I fell asleep. What time is it? Why are you here, Conchita? Last night, what were we drinking here? My head Is going to explode. CONCHITA Ottavio dear, You are ridiculous. OTTAVIO I cannot help it. CONCHITA I thought you were in love. OTTAVIO Indeed I am. It is annoying, though, that love should sharpen At once all senses. Hence, acute hangovers Will always follow nights of tortured bliss. I suffer, have a drink, suffer some more - And then - this. CONCHITA Poor Ottavio. So devoted, So loyal and so generous! You know, I might have something to confess, should you Be willing to attend. OTTAVIO Well.... Ouch! My head! Yes, darling. What? CONCHITA It's just occurred to me That in the whole wide world, no one but you Has ever loved me. Ottavio forces himself to think. OTTAVIO Yes. What then? CONCHITA And now, You have your tragedy as I have mine. I've sipped the wine; I know what bliss is like. I stole my moment from fate's pocketbook; You chose to follow your convictions. You Refused to steal. The enlightened thief, however, Is just as sick as the benighted martyr, For bliss is unattainable for either Of them. Where does this leave us? OTTAVIO Bliss? What bliss? Why are you dressed like this? CONCHITA Me? Dressed? Oh, come. OTTAVIO (realizing) Has something happened? CONCHITA Yes. OTTAVIO And you were.... willing? CONCHITA Of course. OTTAVIO Don Pedro? CONCHITA Who? Oh, yes. Don Pedro. OTTAVIO The scoundrel! CONCHITA Why? I tell you I was willing. She moves a carafe of wine towards herself, takes the ring off her finger, twists it, letting the contents of a hidden cavity drop into the wine. OTTAVIO What are you up to, sister? What's that? CONCHITA Poison. Want some? They look each other in the eye. OTTAVIO You frighten me. CONCHITA Do I? Not really. What is the point in living like you do? You'll never have that which you covet most. It would be impolite of us to hinder Your Anna's and my Juan's sweet happiness With our grim presence. We shall die for them, Bravely and quietly. Right here. Right now. OTTAVIO Don Juan? CONCHITA He and the swordsman of last night With whom you shared a cup of wine are one. A pause. OTTAVIO (smiting his brow) Of course! I'm such a fool! You knew it, though? CONCHITA Of course I did. OTTAVIO And still you were quite willing? CONCHITA Yes. OTTAVIO What a scoundrel! CONCHITA No. OTTAVIO You want to die? CONCHITA Of course. Do you imagine I'd endure A lifetime in the house of Don Diego Now that I've known Don Juan? OTTAVIO He hasn't changed, then. Anna is free! CONCHITA Ah, is she? Think again. If she has loved him - which is very likely - Do you imagine she might look at you Once, never mind regard you as her husband? You're mad, you know. OTTAVIO You're right. Oh, you're so right. The poison, then?... CONCHITA ....is ready. Here's your cup. She pours two cups. They each take one, raise them. OTTAVIO My final drink. CONCHITA Yes. Here's to love eternal! Enter Leporello. He assesses the situation quickly. LEPORELLO Now, now! You put those down! You hear? At once! He runs up to them. They look at him uncertainly. He takes their cups from them, sets them down on the table. LEPORELLO My friend and master has been here, it seems. OTTAVIO Please leave. We have some business to transact. LEPORELLO Indeed you do. You'd better sober up. CONCHITA How do you know he has been here? Suppose You should be wrong? LEPORELLO Bah! No great mystery In it. For when I see a half-dressed woman Staring despondently, and next to her A man who looks as though he's been cuckolded Who makes his wine a tiny bit more potent By introducing poison to his cup, I daresay I can tell whose brush has painted The masterpiece. I've missed him, I'm afraid. Where did he go? Huh? Answer me! OTTAVIO My friend, Is it your place to stay when you've been asked To leave? LEPORELLO No harm, Ottavio. Hold your peace. Tell me where I might find my master, and I swear I'll leave you to your childish games. CONCHITA But why this urgency to find your master? What danger is he in? I'm sure he's safe. LEPORELLO He who sets out to fight the pow'rs of evil And seeks not God's assistance can't be safe. The statue's missing from the pedestal. A ton of marble wandering at large Is bound to work some mischief before long. After delivering my master's note To his old flame, I wandered here and there Till daybreak. I was miserable; and then Returning to the gate of the ancient convent, I looked - and lo! no statue! CONCHITA (to Ottavio, indifferently) Is he mad? OTTAVIO Just slightly. (to Leporello) Friend, your master isn't here. Why don't you try some other place? LEPORELLO I will, After a moment's respite. Ah, my nerves! You think it's easy roaming lifeless streets When you might bump into that statue, walking?.... Let me just sit here for a while and think. He sits. A pause. Leporello looks intently at Conchita. LEPORELLO Look, child, do not despair. You're young and pretty. There will be other men of taste and passion. CONCHITA I am engaged. LEPORELLO So what? Not everyone Is an abominable prude; some customs Become neglected when opposed by instinct. You'll be disdained by some for having left The man to whom you made a flippant promise; But surely others will admire your courage. CONCHITA But will they love me? LEPORELLO Certainly. Why not? You need not think of convents. CONCHITA Are you wealthy? LEPORELLO I might become so before long. CONCHITA And noble? LEPORELLO Indeed I am. Conchita rises, walks over to him. CONCHITA Then prove what you just said. LEPORELLO There's no such thing as trust, I see. What kind Of proof do you require? CONCHITA Why, marry me. OTTAVIO (astonished) Conchita! My dear girl, what are you doing? A former servant! CONCHITA He's of noble birth. OTTAVIO He's middle-aged! CONCHITA He's younger than Diego; Besides, how many men d'you think I'll meet In my lifetime who are as liberal, Who think but little of prior engagements? LEPORELLO Say, stop a bit! I'm not the marrying type! CONCHITA Then take me with you as a long-term mistress. OTTAVIO For shame, Conchita! CONCHITA Now, stay out of this. Last night, I saved my heart. Now, here's a chance For me to save my life, my health, my future. I want to live! OTTAVIO (hotly) Yes, as a fallen woman! CONCHITA I'm at a point where public condemnations, However nicely phrased, scare me no longer. (to Leporello) I shall be waiting in the guest rooms. You May join me if you like. Be brave! Good morning. She exits through the guest rooms door. Leporello looks at Ottavio mockingly. OTTAVIO My friend, don't take her words to heart, I beg you. She isn't quite herself today. You'll be Reasonable, I hope? Leporello's face darkens. LEPORELLO I beg your pardon? OTTAVIO Well, she's of noble bi